February 2026 "Delectable Discourse 5: Replacing Valentine’s Day" by Emily Rawlings

Valentine’s Day is loved and dreaded by many, so in this fifth issue of Delectable Discourse, where I ask college students a scrumptious new question each month, I asked the following: If you had to replace Valentine’s Day with another holiday, what would it be called, and how would it be celebrated?

“Now you got me thinking. I’d make it Frog Day—a day where you celebrate frogs because they are amazing. They are neat creatures that actually provide a lot, and I think they deserve more credit than they get.” -Wyatt

“This is a lot of pressure, um, let me think. I’m going to take your time. A holiday… starts singing happy holidays, happy holidays. May the merry bells keep ringiiiing. stops singing umm, ummm… repeatedly smacks lips together A holiday. A PowerPoint Day where everybody makes a PowerPoint of the most stupid topic, but they have to take it so seriously, and they have to gather all the information. They can’t laugh! And they have to dress up, and they have to take it EXTREMELY seriously, like their life depends on it, like it could be about why everybody should start eating their catalytic converters. Yes. And you have to be serious. It is a very serious matter, Emily. Why are you laughing? I ask the student what holiday observers would dress up as. Catalytic converters... And they would gather in about max 15 people so that there could be some interactions, some banter. People can interject as they will. That’s all I have to say.” -Ruth

“Umm, it’s so bad, it’s not even funny. It’s starts laughing A Musical Instrument Day, and everyone gets together with the instruments that they no longer play, and they can trade them. Oh yeah, and after, okay, and then after everyone trades, like they would trade a guitar (which they know how to play) for like a keytar, but they don’t know how to play the keytar, and then they’ll all do a performance together on the ones that they don’t know, and it’ll be wondrous.” -Noah

“Celebrating the lives below the ocean because you know we never actually celebrate what sharks do for us. They are like bugs where people don’t think they have a purpose, but just like spiders, they actually help with cleaning their living space and keeping the environment healthy. To celebrate, everyone has to go out to the ocean and clean the ocean of plastic.” -Perriellys

“Probably, um, National Skateboard Day. Everyone skates, and everybody gets the day off, and they can skate anywhere. Free range. You know, sometimes I see places that I want to skate, but I can’t. Also, every skate shop is 25% off, and that’s my day.” -Jacob

“I think I would replace it with Alonso Day—a day dedicated to me, and everyone has to give me a billion dollars from every person ever. There is a huge cake in the center of every town that I jump out of, and I go touring jumping out of cakes. I feel like, for a day like that, I need a traditional food. Probably like cheese, cheese wheels, and on that day, everyone has to replace their car wheels with cheese wheels.” -Alonso

“Um, Valentine’s Day is usually celebrated on behalf of all women, and I already eat too much candy, so I don’t need any more of that. I would celebrate Phalange Day. Our phalanges are underappreciated, and there are plenty of other finger foods to enjoy other than candy, and I like typing and flipping coins and clicking pens, so that’s how it should be celebrated—by eating finger foods and doing finger tricks. OOO, actually, instead of finger tricks, it would be sign language!” -Paula