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February 2025 Love and Lonesome by Emily Rawlings

Emily Rawlings

Valentine’s Day is the day of love, but what happens when one is alone? Does being devoid of romantic love automatically entail lonesomeness? Let’s probe my friends to find out!



 

Question 1: How is it being alone?

Austin: “It is not terrible. There’s definitely a lot of ups and downs to it, but I will say that the freedom of choice is nice.”

Will: “You know, I feel liberated. I feel like a strong, independent man; I can do anything I want. It gets lonely though sometimes.”

Lenni: “Actually, um, wowza, okay, um, let me. Actually, um, I had a terrible experience with a past relationship, and now I enjoy being alone until there are some days. I feel like I became my own person being alone.”

Dani: “I think it’s exciting and also very relaxing at the same time! I think it’s exciting because you know that you have to look for other forms of connection. Every connection you make feels meaningful and important in a special way—in a way that does not have to be romantic; it really makes you appreciate others more.”

Bertrand the Grouch (totally not an alias for a friend): “Like cobwebs in the corner of the dark bedroom collecting dust bunnies while I sip on my cold brewed tea.”

Julie: “It’s comforting. It’s nice because you get to focus on yourself, hobbies, interests, and personal growth.”

 

Question 2: Do you enjoy being alone?

Austin: “Both yes and no. There’s a lot more freedom with it, but spending time with a significant other is definitely fun.”

Will: “I would say overall that I am happy where I am right now…” Will looks down and sighs, “There is nothing funny about my situation.”

Lenni: “Yes and no. Sometimes there are good days and sometimes there aren’t.”

Dani: “I do. I love being alone because I can focus on my dreams and goals.”

Bertrand the Grouch (definitely not an alias): “If you mean enjoying my time wallowing in self-pity, sitting on my imprinted couch with my ink-stained fingers and the constant smell of bitter coffee lingering in the air, then yes, I enjoy being alone.”

Julie: “YES! I fancy being alone. All the time in the world to read, and nobody to spend money on but myself.”

 

Question 3:


Austin: “Nothing more than a normal day.”

Will: “Hang out with my parents, probably. Probably just be at home. Yeah.”

Lenni: “This year, I don’t know. Galentine’s Day. On the actual day of, probably just hang out with family.”

Dani: “I usually do not do anything for Valentine’s Day, but this year, I plan to get flowers for my friends.”

Bertrand the Grouch (absolutely a real person and not an alias for a friend): “That day, I go about my usual routine—wallow in self-pity, dread that the morning light has come yet again, do laundry to get rid of that tear-stained smell, eat dinner with only one set of plate and utensil, eat my sad-sad, lukewarm, slimy grits.”

Julie: “Me and my high school friends go to a pizza parlor, and we rent a room to have our own private pizza party where we drink the ceremonial cup of ranch.”

 

In the end, it appears that one can be happy when alone, and those who are happy with singleness seem to focus on and love who they do have in their lives; being single or alone does not have to be synonymous with or inextricably linked with lonesomeness.

 

A big thank you to everyone who let me interview them.

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