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Icelandic Bad Boys Up for Grabs

RWC tutor Emily Rawlings discusses Icelandic Yule Lads.

There was Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen, Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen (and Rudolph); but wait, what about Sheet-Cote Clod, Gully Gawk, Stubby, Spoon Licker, Pot Scraper, Bowl Licker, Door Slammer, Skyr Gobbler, Sausage Swiper, Window Peeper, Door Sniffer, Meat Hook, and Candle Beggar? These Icelandic Yule Lads are much more interesting than reindeer, who most likely stay in a stable all year, playing discriminatory reindeer games. These lads are much more productive, taking on the job of Santa himself by putting sweets in shoes laid out on windowsills for the nice kids and rotting potatoes for the naughty ones. However, because the spotlight is not on one person, but rather on thirteen, they can get away with being morally mischievous instead of having to be the upstanding, worldwide celebrity that Santa is, and don’t we all love a bad boy?

Now, what about those names? Sheep-Cote Clod likes long walks on the beach for all you single ladies out there, as well as stealing sheep milk straight from the source of his Icelandic neighbors. Gully Gawk’s hobbies include making fine art by carving soap made from the froth off the top of strangers’ milk buckets. Stubby, although not having the most romantic name, can provide plenty of food for you on those cold winter nights (from the scraps of food he steals from frying pans). As for Spoon Licker, I’m sure he’s great at… kissing… spoons. Pot Scraper, or Pot Licker (I’m seeing a food theme here), is also great at… let us say, at doing the dishes, unconventionally: what a stud! The last of this dishwashing trio is Bowl Licker: alongside enjoying a romantic novel on a winter’s evening, he also likes thoroughly cleaning his glassware with his tongue.

On a different note, Door Slammer enjoys a midnight rave, stomping around and slamming doors for the partygoers out there. Therefore, he must have excellent bicep muscles. Am I right, ladies? Skyr Gobbler prefers a night in, eating specifically Icelandic yogurt while watching Hallmark movies. Sausage Swiper loves bringing home bacon for any lady who will take him. I am not saying he is desperate, but he will take him. I am not saying he is desperate, but he is willing to steal sausages for his gal. Window Peeper… I don’t even know what to say about him; he is just suspicious. Skipping over Window Peeper, Door Sniffer is similar to Sausage Swiper in that he too enjoys a bit of kleptomania, but his kryptonite is not limited to sausages but any baked goods. Who wouldn’t want a man who gives you fresh donuts from Krispy Cream? For all those out there who like sharp-looking men, Meat Hook is your guy. He will not look for other “fish in the sea” when he hooks you. Last but not least, Candle Beggar will be your life's light, sparking a flame in your soul when he steals and eats candles.

The moral of the story is that lads are starving, not only for food but also for your attention in the dating realm, and you can help.

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